Friday, July 31, 2009

Lesson on How to Treat a SQUIRREL!

Tonight, I thought that I would show you the proper way to treat one of the nasty renegade ground squirrels if you catch one. I will have to use my squeaky Birthday squirrel in place of a real one, unfortunately.

First you should grab it and shake it so that it doesn’t get a chance to turn and bite you… Be very careful and ready to let go and take another hold… Use both paws if necessary!

Once you have knocked it out, take a short breather, but be vigilant! Give it a little pinch, and if you feel it start to move again, grab and shake quickly to rattle its little brains around inside of its head… This is a GOOD place for “shaken squirrel syndrome!"

If it starts to scoot away, grab it quickly and give it a couple more chomps! Remember to use your paws to hold it if necessary.

Under no circumstances should you let someone take the squirrel from you until you are sure that it has been neutralized!

Be very careful that it doesn’t act dead and suddenly take off across the room. Be ALERT! Should this happen chase and grab it immediately and give it several more strong shakes!

You have to be very thorough… shake and chew until the squeaky… uh, I mean squirrel bones are completely crunched.

You have to show any other squirrels that may be watching that you mean BUSINESS! This is what they will get if they fool with YOU!

Now, go on out and catch yourself a squirrel!!!


Mango said...

You are so fierce. I am surprised there are any squirrels at all on your estate. Maybe you should hang that one you killed on a stick outside as a warning message.


Martha Basset said...

We are off out to the garden now - we can't wait to try that out!
What a great demonstrations!
We will let you know how we get on.
Martha & Bailey xxx

ClassyChassy said...

What a great Squirrel Neutralization Tutorial! Very informative!

^..^Corgidogmama said...

We're on our way outside to neutralize the back yard of any ol' squirrels. Ours are always walking the wires from post to post...maybe they already know now to show themselves on ground level around here because of our fierce corgi patrol team. Great demo, thanks Dott!

a corgi said...

how cute! I am amazed that they even have a squeaky squirrel toy out there! Koda is going to go and study this so he can be prepared should such an invader try to infiltrate our yard


Dory's Backyard said... I know what to do with that silly fake squirrel my Mommy got me!!!!

Thank you smileys!!!

ocmist said...

Dott's Papa says:

Yearly dog toy bill -- $150 (At the $ Store)

Watching Dott, BG & OC "KILL" them -- Priceless!

Angela said...

BOL! We are off to the garden to catch us a rabbit!


Khyra The Siberian Husky And Sometimes Her Mom said...

So I guess trying a little tenderness might not yield the same results?

Tank woo fur the training videos!


chicamom85 said...

Those are great informational videos. Mom is going to have me watch those every day. With fall coming there will be a lot of squirrel activity I am sure. I love the head shake. I have a new stuffie that is Mango the hedgehog. I am going to practice on that. I hope you are feeling better Dott.

licks and sniffs, Sasha

♥ Maya ♥ said...


thanks for commenting on "Lonely". I am glad you liked it, I just hope my English teacher does too! I wrote it for a school assignment. LOL.

Cute post. I think I will go out and catch a have inspired me :P

Twix said...

You are such a good tutor! And that information is very useful. Thanks!