Dott’s OWAS report from S. Central Calif.—Oil country:
Before I start my OWAS report, I want to thank Commander Tank for his organization of this war. It is so great to have all the new technology that OWAS has provided. We have been doing gorilla warfare for so long, using “sticks and spears” or maybe I should say “tooth and nail,” in comparison to what we have now… you have no idea how grateful we are!
I was on video recon, when I intercepted a communication between the squirrels and the rabbits. Having long suspected a secret alliance between the two, this came as no shock, but the subject of the message was quite disturbing.
It seems Osama-Bin-Squirrelly has been spotted in our area. As you may know he has masterminded several attacks on key K-9 resources. If he is in this area there can be only one target, pet-roll-e-um!
Pet-roll-e-um is one of the most valuable resources this area has to offer. It not only fuels our vehicles of war, but many of our everyday items are made from it as well. It is used for synthetic rubber, so there would be no more rubber training devices (aka. toys) to play with. Pet-roll-e-um is also used to make plastics, so there would be a shortage of squeaky bulbs. That would prevent the spread of our coded messages, crippling part of our intelligence community.
Auntie Sadie went on a night raid on their local headquarters. She is a master in night fighting, as she can’t be spotted and can sneak up on her unsuspecting victims using the night vision goggles she got over the internet a few months ago. Sadie had to use mouth to claw fighting techniques to subdue the night guard. She was able to gather enough info to confirm our worst fears.
The next morning BG led a strike. He opened up with his new 50 caliber machine gun, firing on anything that moved.
I love the big guns, and had been itching to try out my new rocket launcher.
Mama OC has joined the C.A.F. (Corgi Air Force) as it doesn’t hurt her hips to fly the jets. She led a squadron of fighters in an aerial assault on the underground bunkers that line our ditch.
We have saved the local supply of pet-roll-e-um for now, but we are unclear if we have taken out Osama-Bin-Squirrelly. Please advise…
P.S. Robert said he couldn't let me go into combat by myself, so he has decided to be our combat photographer so he can stay near me... MASTERS! (Shaking her head...)
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